jueves, 13 de febrero de 2014

Cinderella 2012

After a whole year of waiting for the opportunity to try the same course that I completed last year but in the 50k instead of the marathon I was very excited and nervous about getting to the starting line. I had not had a long run for three weeks mostly because my trip to Portugal threw my focus off. That made me very hesitant in regards to my ability to finish my first 50k.

I met with my friend Ron, who had been giving me coaching tips, a week before for a quick overview of the course and the strategy approach. I decided to make a couple of changes on how I got ready for runs because I had lost weight in my trip to Portugal and that tends to affect my sugar levels which causes me to bonk easily.

My friend Ron, whom I had paced in AR50 offer to come with me to Cinderella and that eased my anxiety in regards to how to make it back to town after the run. I had a very hard drive going back to Sacramento last year and had to actually stop and sleep for 3 hours before driving back due to exhaustion. I was neglectful then, it took me a while to finally accept that I was not able to make it back without stopping and I did drove for a bit fighting my eyes to stay open. So I was very glad to get the drive back plan figure out and of my mind with his support.

The morning of the event started slow and I guess I must have had felt very comfortable with my friend around because we stop to eat breakfast, miss two exits in the freeway and stop for the bathroom before realizing I was cutting it very close to missing the start of the race. When we finally made it to the starting line the run had already started!  So I found myself rushing to catch up with everyone else forgetting, sunblock, my hat and sunglasses but even more my ipod. The last one very important because music is how I reward myself at mile 15 and how I cope with any physical pain I may have then. I did not think about any of that while rushing to catch up with everyone else and found it in fact very funny that I was late.


My smile started to diffuse around the time I reached the Bridle Trail, 8 miles into the run, when I realize the canopy of trees was subsiding. Denial, my good old friend. I cheerfully thought at the beginning that the sequoia trees would shade me from the sun for a long time. Well, that is never the case in Cinderella and found myself missing my hat and my sunglasses but above all my sweet sweet music.
I went then through all the stages of the grieving process over those forgotten items over the 30 miles. After denial I was in shock. I could not believe I forgot them! How could I have been so stupid!
Then I went throught pain. The sun burned my skin, I tried to focus on each little step I could give going the two miles of steep uphill. But the thirst kept forcing me to drink a bit more and more of water, which usually I am very good about rationing. I simply had to because without my hat dehydration was settling in quick and I had a headache.
The glaring sunlight in my eyes did not help, my sensitive post-surgery corneas complaint, as did my waistline not use to carrying water on a belt for a long distance, one of the changes that smart me decided to do for this race with no time to allow my body to get used to it before.
The pain brought frustration and anger because I knew I will have to endure it for 20 more miles. I had all kind of irrational thoughts in my head at that point I blamed me and the monkeys for all the suffering and hunger in the world. I was angry with myself, silly me, acting like this was my first run ever. Angry for being neglectful and angry for having a bad training strategy.
But then I bargain, the world could save me, if only my friend could rescue me and magically appear around with my hat, or ipod, or sunglasses or any combination of the above. That hope kept me moving until mile 13. 
 I saw my friend Ron, standing up at the end of the loop, which was the end for the half marathoners, and then I  realized he did not get the message that I texted from the top point of the trail when I was able to get a weak signal asking for the forgotten items. It was until then that I realized I could not let myself lose focus and although for the rest of the run never really reach a point where I felt on the zone and continue to feel raw discomfort I did not allowed my mind to get into a negative mind frame because I could simply not afford to lose faith in me finishing the run.
 Once I stopped being fixated over the things that I did not have and the half marathon crowd gone, the trails where empty for enjoyment. I was able to surpass the pain I started to feel in my IT bands from twisting constantly to fix my water belt and the stomach discomfort. Then the canopy of trees and its shade was a gift that I truly appreciated, the second time around. I felt grateful and focused on keeping a steady pace.

I saw barely anyone on the trails but did notice that whomever I encounter I was passing with no effort. I could not tell if they were marathoners or 50k participants and there was no way to know my place on the 50k pack. I was afraid of being the last to finish. That fear kept me from dropping my pace. I felt I could run the little uphills since I trained to do uphills for up to 2 miles in a slow running pace but was afraid to over extend my efforts and risk not finishing at all so I forced myself to walk them; as a result a little quarrel went on my head every time I came to an uphill. My little old friend Smeagol who made his appearance in my head at Nike Women's Marathon came back. He said: do it stop being such a baby! but then turn around to say: no stop and walk you need to conserve energy. That little image going on in my head made me laugh and because of it I started to look forward to the uphills just to get a laugh out of my brain's way to cope. 

By the end of the second loop or the end of the marathon I saw my friend Ron with my hat on his hands and that made me get a great sense of relief and I realized I could definitely finish my first 50k.
As part of the second loop one of the only persons I encountered was a female that either I pass or she passed me on three occasions. Who at the end of the second loop sprinted off and left me demoralized. When I got to the station we both realized that we were completing different distance she cheer for me and express admiration and that brought a smile to my face. The person at the station told me too that the first 50k female has just past and if I rushed I could reach her. I was very surprised since in my head I was the very last 50k person. I discarded the idea of trying to reach her fast after my little good Smeagol reminded me to conserve energy.
   
Feeling grateful I say goodbye to my waterbelt and with a water bottle on each hand and a hat I felt light and renewed ready to tackle the last 4 miles. The IT pain which had increased at that point had me constantly telling myself a little mantra, pain is unavoidable and reward expected. I was very shocked when two miles later and a bit before I reached the last break station I actually reach the first female, she looked at me and in resignation said congratulations... I replied back that I just wanted the pain to be over. In retrospective I think I should had been more empathetic of her efforts and answer congratulations to you too but cannot reverse time. When I reach the station the same girl who told me of the first female runner was there since it was a little loop. She cheer and scream so loud that it made me laugh, she kept on repeating you are winning and that gave me a little humble upside down smile still not sure I could really get first overall female place.
After leaving the station on an opposite direction I spotted a tall blond girl with a very athletic body going on a steady fast pace and I rushed my paced on a technical downwill that ran through a creek full of loose rocks for more than a mile, which is the most challenging kind of terrain for me since I suffer a fall in the Muir Woods Marathon and ever since get scared of it. Later becomes an almost flat end of the course and makes it easy to feel you are shining when you finish.

Once in a while I would turn back convince the tall blonde girl would be there pacing me but saw no one. When I reach the end I still did not have the certainty I was the first female and after they check my number, name and authentication band they confirm it! I was the first overall female finisher on my first 50k. Cool very, very cool.
Like in every event it takes me just one second to start dreaming again about the next event. Thinking longer, bigger, better training just waiting for me around the corner after two weeks rest made me smile with a big grind. My friends and relatives were really glad to learn of my little achievement and my friend made me feel like such a champion driving me back while I rest, which then for me was like heaven as was the watermelon slice I ate right after the Cinderella 50k and getting into bed to finally sleep for a long long time that nigh.  


Nike Women's 2011



An invitation from my friend Suzi to be part of her Nike Women's Marathon team came as a pleasant surprise. It took me about  two seconds to confirming with a big YES my participation. I committed myself to a dedicated training period and some very satisfying fun group runs with my friends Karen and Suzi.
I had spent a whole summer participating in other events as part my training, a summer trail training group, Cinderella marathon and Urban Cow just two weeks prior to NWM. I had a slight notion that all those events had render my body very susceptible to an injury and by the time I started NWM I had to make de choice of either just pace myself or try to improve my PR for in a marathon knowing that the price to pay for it would have to be an injury. But even when that was the case I knew it was a experience worth having.
We got to SF a day before. We carpool to the city and driving there was fun, my friend Suzi and cousin Pat, could not get over me and my attachment to my GPS. I got a kick out of their reaction when they realized I have a name for it and I that I hold it in my hand while driving. We got to SF the day before and spend the day walking around the NWM Expo and shopping around, got matching shirts and had dinner at a wonderful Italian restaurant to celebrate my friend's birthday.
The we went to our Hotel and got a restless night, the kind you get before an event due to excitement. The next morning we met at the lobby and walked to the starting line some blocks away from the Hotel Baldwin where we stayed.

The beginning was impressive. The NWM site said they were expecting 22,500 participants but I had the bib  26,414.When we walked to the starting line and my cousin Pat saw the crowd I could tell she was worried for me because she knows I get some anxiety in confined crowded spaces. I saw her face then I turn to the crowd and really tried not to flip out. There was a sea of people. Suzi must have notice cause she held my hand really tight. We tried walking into the 9 to 10 minute pace area but simply couldn't so we settle with just getting a bit into the crowd. It got better 3 blocks into the run. By then we had enough space that we could extend half of our arms out and I was able to relax.

I had pain from the very beginning of the marathon due to overuse and I was in total denial over it. I decided to pop a pain killer (naproxen) to make it to the finishing without suffering. It did help and once I warm up I had just mild discomfort... that is until mile 15.

Then in between the asphalt and the posterior tibia tendonitis made it difficult to enjoy the scenery. Which I was really enjoying. There were beautiful views. At mile 15 is typically when I turn on the music as a way to reward myself. So it made it nice again.

By mile 18 I was having real pain so I had this great idea to pop another pill. I started having difficulty breathing. I was trying to grasp for air and my lungs just couldn't do it. It was like an asthma attack. Trying not to get scared again I focused in the music and I ran pretty much all the way to the end with little grasps of air. A couple of times I did think on stopping in the aid stations... but I am not the quitting kind of gal.

By mile 19 after shallow breathing for a mile everything felt so heavy and I had to make the executive decision of parting from everything I could do without which consisted of basically my visor. That was hard. I literally cried; mostly because it was a present a friend had given to me. It was and old and ugly visor when I got it but a present never the less. I stop in front of a tree and lay it next to it. Waited a second and said my good bye to it.

From there on besides monitoring my breathing and staying calm I had to work on not crying. The shallow breathing made me feel fragile, vulnerable and very emotional. NWM became a catharsis for me right then. I was looking at people holding signs cheering on and wanted to cry, certain songs that came on the ipod made me cry, guys holding flowers for their girls, little kids with smiling faces looking for their mommies, not being able to see Suzi finishing after looking desperately for her and at the end realizing Pat and Steve didn't made it to the finishing line due to heavy traffic, I was a big ugly emotional mess.

Around mile 21 I felt like there were rocks inside my shoes. I am familiar by now with that feeling; it is when my toe nails are coming off. So I had to stop to fix a bit my shocks. Lost 4 toenails, that is my badge of honor :)
By mile 20 I have gotten to the Ghirardelli station so I took 2 chocolates, ate one in a gulp and put the other one in my pocket thinking about giving it to Pat as a present. By then I had eaten all but one of my energy chews.

When I reach mile 23 I told myself ok it is time to reward myself with the last chew. I open the zipper in my water bottle (which by then was almost empty) and the damn chew felt to the ground. Aggghhhh! I
thought about picking it up for a second but then I remember the lady with the poopy pans we saw at the begging. Ehhh! So the last 3 miles I had this mental discussion on whether or not I should eat that chocolate. It went something like this:
She will totally understand, - nooo no no no but I got it for her...
But you just ran a damn marathon you need it! -But I got it for her. It is a special Chocolate...
You could just not tell her about it! -But you will know it in your mind...
I felt like Smeagol from Lord of the Rings and then that made me smile giving me the extra kick I needed to get to the finishing line trying to increase the pace a bit. And Pat really got to enjoy her chocolate when I finally gave it to her after telling her the story :D

I had heard before from other runners that when you push your body to an extreme your brain starts coping with the fatigue in weird ways. I never imagine I could get to that point but I guess in over medicating the pain I had and the allergic reaction I had to the medication did just that and I found myself turning at mile 24 and seeing my ex-sister in law, who died of cancer a year prior, standing up at the curbside looking very pretty clapping and smiling for me. I could not believe my eyes I look straight at her and pass by in disbelieve amazed about the tricks the brain plays in those circumstances.

It was really rewarding to realize when I crossed the finishing line that all the effort was worth something. I improve my marathon time getting a PR with 4:24. With an improvement of  27 minutes. It was a hard and demanding marathon. Physically taxing but it was worth the experience.

In talking to Suzi about it we did agree that it was mostly because of the kind of cement, old and roughed so it was like running on poky gravel most of the time. That plus the fact that I wore the Merell train run shoes with 4 mm of thickness is almost like running barefoot and offer no protection for cement. I had done the Cow Town half marathon on those shoes two weeks prior too. Which I learn was a mistake. As a result of this effort my right foot arch collapsed and I was out of running for 4 months. It was a hard lesson to learn. Right after the marathon and went ahead and bought the Nike Free Style 3.0 which is a minimal shoe still but has cushion which makes it perfect for cement run.


I guess the highlight for me was the enormous amount of internal dialog I had. It was like having a big mommy me inside caring for a baby me. It was loving and very reassuring.
The experience allowed me to learn more about my particular shoe needs.

Now I look back at the experience and have memories full of endurance and determination which is at the end what running reinforces in you. Despite the pain, reaching your goals always makes you a stronger person and allows you to feel fulfilled and happy.